Are you there?

Reaching out in the darkness
I feel your touch
My fears suddenly melt away
Testing my boundaries of faith
I hear your voice
Telling me you've never left
You hear my words
I whisper when I am alone
How can this be you were just here with me
But its been years since you took your last breath
Your voice starts to drift further away
I can no longer make out your face
A blur among the tears that stain my pillows
I grab for you wishing to hold you here
Selfishly wanting you to never leave
My mind and my heart play tricks on me
One second I am fine the next I am not
It was so long ago but the wound still bleeds
How does this hurt go away
Or will it always be this way
You leave me traces
So I know that you were here
Every time I feel you've gone
I smell you and feel the warmth of your embrace
Its only for a moment
But its been worth the wait
My heart aches for you
My life moves on
Even though you are gone
Gone to a place I cannot go
Off to the unknown
When I doubt that I will feel you again
I start to wonder
"Are you there"
But I know the truth
That I try to conceal
You are gone, my memories are now where you belong

Moving Forward

Be me, the haunting ghost that’s left behind

The heart that has turned to stone

Unrecognizable, I stand alone

Crossing those same lines

Pushing past the unknown

Determined to make it on my own

Fighting back all those lonely fears

That I could possibly succeed

Starring myself down

Facing the doubt that lingers on

Pushing it aside and taking that leap

To better myself to make me over

I may be naïve to think

That things are beginning to falling into place

I don’t believe in anything I cannot feel

Even if it is not entirely real

Reflection of the years behind

And all the things I could have been

Today starts with one step

That will eventually lead to another

Leading me on a journey

An exploration of who I am

The things I could be capable of are endless

As long as I believe and never stop moving

My journey will have

A destination

A future

I will be who I have always meant to be

Just by moving forward.

What It Is

Ignorantly blissful of what the future holds

The wrong turns you will make

The hearts you will unknowingly break

The sadness you will endure

When everything becomes real

Outside in the world

The night passes quickly to day

People you love some will go

While others will stay

Faces will fade to grey

While relationships grow

You learn the truth

Behind the white picket fences

Where everything was painted perfect

The work that goes into loving another

The fact that not everyone stays together

Sometimes forever is a blink of an eye

While others cherish their time

Till the day they die

You will think you can be anything

And you will find the only hand that holds you back

Is your very own

The taste of love can be as bitter

As the words you speak from hate

The keys to happiness are different for everyone

Since the locks to our hearts are not the same

It is easier to blend into the crowd

Than to stand for what you believe

You’ll forever be figuring out who you’re supposed to be

Mistrust Brings

The paper thin layers of mistrust

Peel away

Flaking and cracking around our feet

A smile could be hurtful

A friend can betray

Words are stains on a heart

That can never be erased

Restless we lay

Recounting those days

Before the smiles faded away

Tender and young

With the lights in our eyes

Shinning like brilliant stars

Glistening waters

Some things are what they should be

Nothing more but always something less

Resting on hope

That tomorrow will bring something better

That time will somehow become slower

We will have more space to run

And experience the dreams

That wakes us from our restless sleep

That yesterday can be left behind

Shedding our pain

Leaving our disappointments

For another to carry on

To wrestle with themselves

The right and the wrong

The dark to the light

To survive

When everything screams to give up

Sometimes pain wreaks us

Other times the weakness becomes strength

When we most need it

Set Free

Testing boundaries

Walking the tight rope

Between right and wrong

Values wavering

Under pressure I sink

Looking for a warm embrace

Mistakes we are unable to recover from

We stumble in and out of darkness

Bound by desire

Needing to feel wanted

Passion that is held on the tip of my tongue

Lost in the changing tides

That sweeps me, pushes and pulls me in

Against my will or so it seems

Waiting in the back all along

Coming undone at my seams

Clawing to get out

The freedom that lies behind these eyes

Waiting for my world to unravel

To stand at the unknown

Willing to face my regrets

To have the world judge me

People just need acceptance

That they will be unhappy

To make others smile

But not me

I get lost in the haze

The lines drawn in my heart

Slowly fade

Unable to focus on what’s true

What’s considered right

Always afraid to hurt others

While my scream echoes

Throughout my body

My fears bubble behind my lips

Afraid to say them

To make them true

As if the words were made of fire

Burning through till my insides are smoldering ash

About to be blown away

To be scattered around me

Till there is nothing to tell

Just the silence seeping through the breeze